Each of the Irish/British folk have taken on the task of writing a memory on the Blog of something which meant a lot to us individually or made an impact on us. The first experience that I thought of was our trip to Puno, which made a great impact on me, i.e. falling in love with the church up there, however we are heading back there next week and God willing I will post a bit about it when we get back home as I should have more to say after being there again.
When I started to think about all the memories and experiences I have had here I tried to think of a nice happy one which meant a lot to me that would warm the hearts of the readers. However the God of the Bible does not just use the things that we have learnt during the good times to refine us, I have found and believe that its biblical, that God uses the hard and painful times far more to make us more like His Son than the good times, when we are put through the fire that is when we are refined.
So probably the other biggest experience for me during our time here definitely did not seem like a positive one at the time. It occurred during the second youth camp, I was asked by Javier if I could share with the young people on one of the evenings, I was hesitant at first as I wouldn’t have much time to prepare and it involved a lot of preparation, to write it out for myself in English then try to translate it myself into Spanish, then go through it all with Freddy to put right all the injustices I had done to the Spanish language and then to practice it enough times so I could actually deliver it, and all of this in between helping run a camp. After the initial hesitance I convinced myself that I could do it and agreed. So I went to it and just in time I had my finished copy, in just enough time to practice it a few times before I was due to deliver it.
I remember being a little nervous but not unduly, on reflection I probably wasn’t nervous enough. I read 1 Peter chapter 1 v 24&25 and became even more encouraged.
“All flesh is like grass and all its glory like the flower of grass.
The grass withers, and the flower falls but the word of the Lord remains forever”
I remember feeling like it would be fine, as long as I speak the Word then all would be OK. And so the service began and so it came to me to speak, now to get to the point, after about 10 minutes of speaking I took a turn, hard to describe it, I don’t remember what happened, just that I felt the whole world closing in on me while I was speaking and had an almost out of body experience then the next thing I remember I was in the kitchen being sick over Ingrid!
After visiting the clinic in Ite and having a scan a few weeks later it became apparent that I was medically fine and so I couldn’t blame it on my body! I’ve had to face up to the fact that it was due to nerves and not being able to handle the pressure of the moment. I was extremely disappointed afterward and it hugely damaged my confidence to speak Spanish, especially in public, I haven’t taken on the task of preaching since then. I remember feeling deep down at the time almost like the text in 1 Peter had failed me, like somehow it should have made me superhuman or made my Spanish perfect. However now I realise the complete opposite and those verses are of great comfort. My flesh did fail and wither but that’s what happens to sinful, finite people, God does not use us to exalt ourselves but to humble ourselves* and to give Him the glory. I was focusing in on what man was thinking about me, in essence- my glory, but that is like focusing on a blade of grass over an oak tree! Our glory is nothing when compared to the glory of the Lord and His word; He endures forever, long after all our vanity has disappeared and He will get the glory, always, it’s better to acknowledge that in this life than have to wait until the next see it. Now I feel that I have a better grasp of what it means to share the Word, and, if it is in the will of the Lord, I will continue to endeavour to preach when I get the opportunity, however, for the immediate future, in English!
*After writing this Luz gave a devotion and quoted Luke 14v11
“For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled and he who humbles himself will be exalted”
Adds a bit to what I had written I think.
Aaron
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1 comment:
hello Aaron & MEET team, great to hear from yous at last, will forgive and TRY to forget that you didn't keep us informed of all yous had been up to in the past months! realise that while we're at home here in N Ireland with braodband and internet, things may have been slightly different for yous!
what a great title Aaron, read your blog message, we can all learn from your honesty and frankness - i believe nerves are good before undertaking any of work for Lord - shows we're relying on Him to work through us and not depending on our own poor ability! anytime I have to address group in church or anything my stomach is churning, we're really looking forward to having you home on Sunday (D.V.) and can't wait to hear about your exploits in Peru, we've missed you from church family and don't worry we've loads of speaking engagements lined up for you (in English) and trust this will encourage you after your experience speaking in Peru, but as you realise a good lesson learnt, for all of us!!
your probably started for journey home at this stage so bon voyage and God bless
Richard, Linda & Faith
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